Sat, Jul. 8th, 2006, 11:59 pm
My english went.. eeeh... very rusty after 5 weeks speaking 100 % german, sorry!
Well... speaking, that's the right word o_o , I only communicate by speaking and SMS messaging (mobile phone) with some ppl "outside" in the far away home-city.
Well... the therapy is running well, although I can't lie that much is happened.
Just that I have found/finding/will finding out some basicaly mental problems and work on them and that AREN'T the one I supposed they would be!
In fact I have no idea what they are, but one of them is my mental "agressive" acting to other ppl when only ONE reason is found what I don't like on this person.
And it's not like that with those therapy as I have supposed; It's much working on myself by myself than my therapist is doing something for me o_o
That's hard.. and I'm a bit discontent because I have problems to find my mental probs... I mean.. I know I act wrong, I have low self esteem and stuff.. but I have no idea why!
Well... since I'm there ( I still have problems, oh yes) I feel me often very good, the work is nice ( I'm in the workshop there) and I try to be a nice friend to the other ppl there.
Heh.. work is really helping against depressions ^_^
PS: I will be online in 2 weeks again maybe =)
Wed, May. 31st, 2006, 10:13 am
See you all !
Okay, it's time to move for me !
Means I won't be here for the next 4 weeks definetly .___.
Damn, this will be a hard time for me, and I will miss you all but there's no chance to make it in a other way for me.
Small village called Rövenich, I comming ! SEE YOU ALL *hugs*
Sat, May. 27th, 2006, 04:35 pm
That's my last weekend before leaving Cologne and don't having the computer (and Internet) for 4 weeks at first!
I won't be online for the next 4 weeks most likely.
Hmm... Tug_the_Dragon is right, I'm almost never here in the last time ._.
I can't say why, but in the last time I'm not in mood to write about my stuff here, altough some things are happened.
But I still read the entries by the other LJ friends as often as possible!
It's strange, one the one day I can draw complex stuff for my freinds or for own practicing, on the other, I hardly can draw a few lines T_T
By way, I have tried to doodle a few sketches for my project of mating raptors, but I have had a terrible headache, the most worst I ever had O_o
Oh, and I've toke my 2nd aspirine against it in life XD
MEH, I need new icons !!1 (although it's not worth to make some yet because i'm away on wednesday)
Sat, May. 13th, 2006, 12:01 am
As I supposed, it falled apart !
Thank you very much!
Fri, May. 12th, 2006, 09:14 pm
Tomorrow we'll go to Dana!
I was a few times there, but I've never met her grandparents she's living with O.o
Hui.. I'm excited , how will they be ? :/
Oh, we have to check her PC and I need to look for my old HDD (10gb, not much, but better than her's old 4 gb *g*)
Project "Dana's new old PC for birthday" can start!
Wed, May. 10th, 2006, 10:15 pm
2 weeks ago it was very cold outside, and now ?
*let the ventilator running*
Anyway, I hate this suddenly change of temperatures . . . it makes me dizzy and tired all the time c.c
Oh.. ehm.. by way ... my old best friend has a (can't translate this) kind of "clinging ape" as girlfriend.
Isn't it possible to make plans for a "only men" evening without her ???
I mean.. the only one day where he has time (because he's in the MOOD to have it) is the 20th ... and on this day an another friend hasn't time!
Of course we could replace the termina on another day , BUT, HE CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HER! , never for one f****ing day in quarter of the year!
I try to be still happy :/
Kay, thing is done.
I will stay here but change a few small things.
The dramalama is over ... I tried to excuse, I failed, friendship is gone with him!
And it seems the other are on the way to choose between me and Sturmblut, and I would say I won't win =P
Uhh... no prob, time build up new friendships (and refresh old)
Fri, Apr. 28th, 2006, 03:19 pm
I really had a blackout yesterday!
Too much alcohol and calming pills ... I only feeled hate, unspeakable hate.
And If I think about, I'm too addicted to the internet now ... and those action of yesterday makes me squeasy.
Hell! .. if I drink alcohol and take pills and be in a those rare phase, I can't control myself.
I only feel hate hate hate.
I FELL ME SO ASHAMED NOW -_-
What I could do now :
1- move along and really go away (hardest way but most efficient)
2- do nothing but let the LJ running
3- come back, ruined all for rest of time
I wish I could make up for it, but I can't. . .
Thu, Apr. 27th, 2006, 11:19 pm
SO.. I have erased all my messanger :)
No talking with internetfolks more!
Now I have to delete the LJ and a new life can beginn ^__^
Thu, Apr. 27th, 2006, 10:25 pm
I have toke 4mg Tavor and a bit scotch to spill it down .__.
But it doesn't work as I wished .. it makes me only more angry, fearless but angry!
It's true.. I'm on the way to become a calmingpills-junkie T_T
Well... how's weather around the world ?